year in review. . . .

I just can't believe that it is the last day of the year! As we get older it seems to fly by way too fast!!  Just like everyone else, it has been a busy one. 

2014 was the year of planning.  Planning Jessica and Gabe's wedding set for May 9, 2015.  Busy as it was, Michele and Nick ALSO got engaged. Yes! Both our babies will be getting married in 2015.  We are soooooo excited!  Michele and Nick is thinking September, but would like to get the venue and everything booked before we say the date out loud.  (Remember the problem with Jessica and Gabe's?  We had to change the date 5 times!!) To say that maybe 2015 will be even busier that 2014 for the Ummel's is a understatement!

Our niece Courtney will be graduating from High School the weekend after Jessica's wedding.  And then another niece Taylor will be getting married June 27th.  Busy year for my parents.  Three granddaughters getting married and one high school graduation in 5 months. Whew!

Michele and Nick bought their first home in May. :)

Roger is still driving his truck :-) And I am working two days a week at the hospital now.  The other days trying to rest and keep my RA in order.  (darn thing!)

Jorge and Luke are still our little's around here.  We also welcomed "Boo" into our home in October.  She is a little feisty, but will be getting spayed and de-clawed next week.  Babies!! I'm sure she will still be "booing" us, but hopefully this helps with her liking to use those claws on us.  

Here's to a wonderful 2014 and a great 2015 to come!

Happy New Year!!

Happy Birthday to this guy. . . . . . . .

Couldn't ask for a more supportive person to share my life with.

Think I'll keep him around.

Happy 28th Birthday Jessica!!

That two year old I was talking about. . . . . . ya. . . . .

Happy 18th Birthday Courtney!!

Boo. . . . . .

The newest member of the Ummel family is now 3 months old and has grown leaps and bounds.  She has doubled in size and grown the biggest personality!!  She wants to play when SHE want to play.  And she wants to snuggle when SHE wants to snuggle.  As Roger says, she think I am her Mama.  So she plays with him and she comes to me when she is tired.  And when she is tired she wants her paws held.  Silly girl.

We couldn't have picked a better name!  Her favorite thing. . . . to jump out from nowhere and scare you.  I feel like most the time I have a two year old hanging onto my leg as I am walking thru the house.

Thanksgiving 2. . . . .

Even thou we were able to go to Topeka and celebrate Thanksgiving with our girls, Jessica was able to come home on Wednesday afternoon and spend a few days with us for the holiday.  It was so nice to have her home.  

On Thursday we spent most of the day in Bison with Grandma and Grandpa Kaler.  Grandpa and Courtney cooked a grand Thanksgiving dinner as Grandma is still healing from her back surgery.  The meal was grand enough that we had to get our naps in before Roger, Jessica and I headed out for round one of Black Friday.  Which isn't really isn't Black Friday when it starts on Thanksgiving evening.  No I don't believe they should start those sales on the Thanksgiving holiday.  But yes we wanted that tv for Jessica and Gabe's Christmas present.  So, yes we were in that line.

And yes, so was everyone else.  You really can't tell in this picture, but this line was seven lines deep in front of us.  And I don't even know how many lines behind us. Two isles long wound from the fabric department, thru the crafts, in front of the service department and into the shoes.  Sure makes you wonder how many of those tv's they had because there were a LOT of people waiting for just that tv. 

Roger chose to just wait in the vehicle.  :-))

Round 2 was 5am Friday morning.  Nothing big.  We just wondered and then had breakfast at IHop.  We did find some really good sales.  Then homeward bound for a nap. 

Saturday we went into WaKeeney for the Holiday Bazaar and then to pick up toilet parts.  Of course our septic line would plug up.  And we have taught our girls well!  They are not afraid to get down and dirty.  After Roger got home from work, Jessica and him "played" and found the plug.

And of course Jorge had to get in some snuggles with Jessica while she was home. :-)

 

Tomorrow is Cyber Monday.  Are you shopping??

THaNksGIVinG #1 . . . .

This last weekend Roger, Glada and I made a quick trip to Topeka for a Thanksgiving meal at Michele and Nicks.  We were there pretty bright and early as we left our house a little after 6am.  Let's just say there was a lot of food! Yum. Yum. Talk about getting our tummies full!! Everyone who came brought delicious food.  Nick's family was there.  Jessica, Gabe and Gabe's Mom, Lena was there too.  It is so nice to be able to all celebrate together.

We were on our way home and we got a phone call from our Michele.  She called to tell us some great news.  Nick had asked her to marry him! (We knew it was coming.  Nick had asked Roger for his blessing while we were there.)  This is just sooooo exciting!  Both our babies getting married! 

Gosh they grow up fast!!!

My Mom and Dad have 6 grandchildren. In 2015 three will be getting married and one will be graduating from high school.  Wow! Party!!

Jessica & Gabe. . . . .

 Jessica and Gabe recently got their engagement pictures taken.  My goodness the time is going fast.  It is hard to believe that their wedding is in just about 6 months!! 

ba. . . ba. . . . back. . . .

A few weeks ago my Mom had major back surgery.  Lets just say there were complications and we were taking turns staying with her.  She is now home and MUCH better now.  Thank goodness.  We don't want to do that again!

Before my Mom's surgery, we had started a bathroom remodel.  And yes we are still working on that bathroom remodel.  It kind of came to a screeching halt.  Michele and Nick had came home to help us with a water leak.  Seems the water drain to the tub was rotted and ALL the water was just going into the crawl space.  YUCK!  Now we wonder for how long?????  Oh my! Thank goodness we got that fixed.  

So.  Believe this.  That end of our house that has the "crawl" space under it,  there is only about a foot of room between the floor and the ground.  And there is no insulation.  Is there really suppose to be or not?  I'm not sure.  But you know me.  I got it in my brain that it would make that wood floor warmer and once it is in that brain. . . . .  it isn't coming out.  :-) 

So. . . . . . 

imagine this. . . 
Roger and Nick. . . .
sliding on their backs. . . 
with insulation. . . 
sucking in their tummy's. . . 
Michele tried. . . . 
but just couldn't . . . . 
and what could I say. . . 
at least she tried. . . 
I wouldn't even go under. . . 
and the only way out was the 2x2 hole Roger cut in the floor. 

The good. . . 
with the cold weather. . . . 
the floor is warmer!!!
So. . . . 
it was worth it!

Thank you Dear!
Thank you Nick! 

Boo. . . . . .

Meet the Ummel's newest member. . . . . . .

Courtney Rae. . . Senior 2015

Happy Birthday Mishi!!

This is what happens when you have a "real" job and it is your birthday. :-)

Ummel Reunion 2014

The annual Ummel Reunion was in Wichita again this Labor Day weekend.  Roger and I were on our way. . . . . but ended up turning around and coming home. :(

Food poisoning.  And how ironic after talking to Larry and Linda a week after the reunion.  And after looking at these pictures.  Ribs.  NOT these ribs.  Ours were ribs from Dillons.  N.E.V.E.R again!!  It does sound like they had such a nice time visiting and eating.  We can not wait till next year.  But guys. . . . promise Roger and I something. . . . NO. .. NO. . . . NO RIBS!! 

The Spoon Theory

4:10 am.  I've been up since 2am.  Ugggg!  And my alarm goes off at 7:30.  :(

I ran across this and thought I'd share. . . .

by Christine Miserandino

 www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

just a traveling. . . . .

The beginning of September I spent 5 days in Topeka.  I always L.O.V.E. when I get to do that.  Last time I was there I spent most of my time at Michele's.  So this time I spent mostly with Jessica and Gabe.  I drove in Tuesday.  On Wednesday Jessica and I spent the day wedding planning.  My oh my is that exhausting!!  But we are getting it done!!  May 9, 2015!  Save the date! 

The lighting is bad in this picture.  What you can't see is the sacks full of flowers.  Yes.  I am making the wedding arrangements myself.  :)

Thursday was a massage (with Martha) and lunch with Jessica.  Then I just wondered the shops by myself all day.  Sometimes those days are just beautiful.

Friday was a busy BUSY day.  Lets just say I started off my day with a few honey dews for Jessica.  This.  That.  Sewing.  Then I picked Michele up and we went to lunch.  I always try to take each of the girls out to lunch when I'm in Topeka.  After lunch I rushed back to Jessica's to get Marley.  Then we were off across town to help Jessica give a baby shower for her leasing agent.  Keri LOVED our gift!

  

After the shower we then rushed to help Michele.  She had a 'Origami Owl' housewarming party.  It was really nice to meet some of her friends and co workers I hadn't met before.  I then stayed Friday night at Michele's.

No wonder I was tired! :)

Saturday Mom, Dad, Courtney and Cody came to Michele's.  Michele was soooo proud to be able to give the house showing to her family!!  And Grandma loved it!  Nick was on call, but before he was called out the family F.I.N.A.L.L.Y got to meet him.  I tell ya, he is a keeper.  

We all then headed north for Brooke and Chad's wedding.  Brooke's grandmother, Yawanna, is a very close friend to my Mom.  They grew up together.  So we feel like Brooke is just like family. Yawanna & Francis.  Gloria & Alan.  Miles.  Lexanne.  Brooke.  Brian.  Just about family. . . .

oh Yawanna. . . . .

Michele and Grandpa  :)

 Sunday. . . . homeward bound. . . . . .